Restoration

Jesus, there is nowhere else to
run to when I’m feeling this way,
feeling the same familiar thing racing
through my empty mind, leaving empty tracks
and traces of where the pain has been before, and
will be again in time.
Like something remembered a long time ago,
it comes and stays a while, the memory never
quickly fading- recounted a thousand times over.
But you, Jesus...
You’re there, there among my world I pretend
isn’t crumbling, and maybe it isn’t, but
my human heart you forgave is desperate for revival, cries out
for healing hands to save me again
and again and again, please
let me know you’re still here, Jesus, while
I hide my face for a while and escape the
thick cloud and shadow of those things I
never wanted to leave behind- now, I hide from them because
they haunt me.
Jesus, in you I take refuge, and
in you I dwell safely, my hiding place and my rock.
Let your mercy amaze and astound me, and your strength
to overcome what is overcoming me.
Raise me higher above this. Lift me. Lead me
back to you where I’ve always belonged, where
you stilled me and moved me at the same time, and
where I did not desire control over my life that is useless when I am not
beside you, sweet Jesus.
I try to number the stars when you have called them
all by name... but you knew mine first, for
you love me with a greater love yet.
Restore me.