Andie

she was my early birthday present in the summer
unpromised and unexpected
sent to this place she feared to call home, feared to begin again

and I learned her name on accident
when I met her one warm, summer day
and when the clouds
were lazy, parting, and rolling along the boundless sky
which stretched forever and ever, much like we would

and she reminded me of someone I once knew, someone
who loved all that she did
smiled at the same joy
...hid from the same fears
fell in love with the same Jesus
her spirit was ignited with Him
with life, with vigor
with energy, and joy
happy to be alive, living to tell of every yesterday

her hair was the color of earth, cascading wildly over her shoulders
untamed, without care
and her eyes were pulled from the sky
blue and clear
her voice ascending as though carried by wind, her face
kissed by the summer sun
her soul flying

...and I was so afraid it would not be enough
for me, so ordinary, to come along and only be myself
until she told me that’s what she loved most
and so we came to be, she and I
a sort of inseparable, uncomplicated pair
taking risks, and hiding away
reaching for what memories meant
discovering laughter enlightened
dreaming, promising, wishing on invisible stars
laughing and pretending
...disappearing
to a place where we could only go together, a place
where we met without guard, where she listened as I spoke
and I prayed as she cried
where words were not necessary to converse
and tears spoke so freely
where she was herself, and I myself
and that was all we knew...

and aside, when I was in the quiet of my room
alone, embraced by shadows
I would call on the Giver of this gift and praise Him
for her, exalt Him,
asking to never take her away, ever
...but He did
for just a while
and though my eyes saw her day after day
my heart did not, for she had left that place and locked the door
walked away unknowingly
or perhaps it was I that walked away
the day I cried and broke
part of me dying
begging our Father to bring her back fully, but instead He kept her
at distance, that I might learn to pursue others too
that I might hope for her
learning of what it meant to hold on and not let go

and I did
by His grace and strength
renewed in spirit, and able to acclaim His name in thanksgiving for her
my sister and my friend...
Andie.